Weekly Newsletter - 11th December 2023
Happy Monday Tribies.
How are you feeling?
This week I'm not feeling pumped.
And that's ok.
I'm not feeling pumped AND I'm still showing up to my plan.
You see, one thing I've learnt over the almost 5 years (holy smokes I can't believe it) since my last start is that relying on being 'motivated' will not get you losing weight.
It can help sometimes but changing my mindset from 'I have to be motivated to lose weight' to 'I can follow my plan no matter how I feel' has been a gamechanger for me.
There's some underlying beliefs and power thoughts that help make it easy for me to show up to my plan no matter my mood. These include:
- I actually want to feel well and amazing and I can create that within 2 great days.
- I feel like crap when I eat crap.
- Setting a plan gives me so much freedom and time
- Showing up to my plan will create the great feeling. I don't need to feel great first.
- How I'm feeling now is coming from my thoughts, that's all it is, there's nothing wrong with me and I don't need to find the latest diet to make me motivated.
- I know exactly what to do, I know what works for me and my body.
- I continue to practice the life I want to live.
Have you ever had the belief that you have to be feeling motivated for the diet to be a good diet or for you to think you can show up to your plan?
Feelings Focus:
This week we're diving deeper into the feeling of 'anxiety'.
The purpose of this weekly feeling focus is to build our vocabulary for emotions, build awareness and confidence in feeling our feelings.
I use Brene Brown's 'Atlas of the Heart' book along with resources mentioned each week.
Brene describes anxiety as: Escalating loss of control, worst-case-scenario thinking and imagery, and total uncertainty.
The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as "an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worries thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.
Anxiety can be both a state and a trait.
A Trait is considered to be something that is part of an individuals personality and therefore a long-term characteristic of an individual that shows through their behaviour, actions and feelings. It is seen as being a characteristic, feature or quality of an individual. Eg, someone who says "I'm a confident person" or "I'm just an anxious person" is stating that these attributes are part of who they are.
A state, on the other hand, is a temporary condition that they are experiencing for a short period of time. After the state has passed, they will return to another condition. Eg, someone who says "I am feeling quite confident about this interview" or "I feel nervous about doing this" is describing states.
When they say that anxiety can be both a state and a trait, it means that some of us feel anxious mainly in response to certain situations, while some of us can be naturally more predisposed to anxiety than others.
(Generalised anxiety disorder is different from both trait and state anxiety. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine "generalised anxiety disorder is a condition of excessive worry about everyday issues and situations.")
An intolerance for uncertainty is an important contributing factor to all types of anxiety. Those of us who are generally uncomfortable with uncertainty are more likely to experience anxiety in specific situations as well as to have trait anxiety and anxiety disorders.'
As I read this information I feel that knowledge of this helps me with awareness and makes me feel more empowered. How about you?
Our anxiety often leads to one of two coping mechanisms: worry or avoidance. Unfortunately neither of these is very effective.
Worry and anxiety go together, but worry is not an emotion, it's the thinking part of anxiety. Worry is described as a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future.
Brene says that what really got her with her research on worry is that those with a tendency to worry believe it is helpful for coping (it is not), believe it is uncontrollable (which means we don't try to stop worrying), and try to suppress worry thoughts (which actually strengthens and reinforces worry).
Avoidance is the second copy strategy for anxiety, it's not showing up and often spending a lot of energy zigzagging around and away from that thing that already feels like it's consuming us. And avoidance isn't benign. It can hurt us, hurt other people, and lead to increased and mounting anxiety.
As we pause to reflect on how worry and avoidance plays out in our lives, I want to encourage you to observe this week and notice if you move into any of these behaviours. Don't judge yourself, don't try to avoid it (ha ha avoid avoidance), sit with it and acknowledge it before moving forward.
Next week I want to look at Anxiety as the feeling and compare it to feelings that might be confused as anxiety.
Private Coaching:
Do you ever feel like you're going around in circles not making progress?
We've all felt that way.
Or do you think there's a big personal obstacle that is holding you back?
I offer private coaching for any Tribie who feels like they need extra support and for whatever reason can't achieve the support on Group Coaching calls.
Here's some of the reasons Tribies have booked Private Coaching sessions with me:
- Had been a Tribie for a year and lost weight, kept it off but felt like they had plateaued and needed a kickstart. This client booked regular weekly 25 minute sessions.
- Prima who schedules a session to dive deep on obstacles anytime she feels she needs it. This Prima has been a private client for a number of years and books in her sessions randomly whenever needed.
- New Tribie who wanted one on one support along her journey. We started with 8 weekly 50 minute sessions and now do weekly 25 minute sessions.
- A Tribie who is steady with her weight loss and wanted life coaching. We meet weekly for 25 minute sessions.
- A Tribie who had a significant negative event in their life and wanted support. We met weekly for 50 minute sessions for 4 weeks and then switched to fortnightly 25 minute sessions ongoing.
- So many other reasons such as Parenting, work challenges, relationship challenges, help with planning etc.
As you can see, there's many different reasons and ways to use Private Coaching.
I offer blocks of 4 sessions at a time that can be used any way to suit you.
Private Coaching session options:
- 4 x 25-minute sessions = $295 AUD (approximately USD $201 and GBP £151). You can book these sessions here: https://www.
fastmamatribe.com/offers/ wmDo6oiE
- 4 x 50-minute sessions = AUD $590 (approximately USD $402 and GBP £308). You can book these sessions here: https://www.
fastmamatribe.com/offers/ L592LyyA
Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or would like to discuss anything further at [email protected]
New Facebook Group:
I've noticed through the coaching I've done over the past year in particular that we have a number of Tribies who are parenting Neurodivergent and/or LGBQT+ children.
Along with the standard parenting challenges these parents most often face additional challenges, feel constantly judged and question themselves and their parenting.
I really want to hug every single Tribie and tell you "You're enough just as you are" and have you feel a part of our community of support and belonging, acceptance, non-judgement and ongoing growth.
To continue moving towards making this wish reality, I have created the Fast Mama Support Group - Parents of Neurodivergent and/or LGBQT+ Kids
This group is open to all Tribies who would like to be a part of this group.
You can join the group via: www.facebook.com/groups/fastmamaparentsupportgroup
The purpose of this group is to connect with other parents who are in a similar circumstance to you.
Support, be supported, share, listen and hold space for each other.
If you have any questions or suggestions please email [email protected]
What's On:
To find out what's on and see the times in your local time zone check the 'what's on' section of our Backstage area here: www.fastmamatribe.com/
Big love and hugs to you all.
Let's have an awesome week.
Love
Lindell xo
