Lindell's 30 Day's Of Practice - Week 2 (Round 2)
Day 8 - Monday
I caught myself feeling antsy this morning. Very jittery.
Once I had the feeling I leant into it, allowed it and breathed. I realised the feeling was coming from the thoughts "Monday morning, I've got so much I want to achieve this week".
I've done a thought download and listed my priorities.
Interestingly my brain was telling me to master gluten free and dairy free cooking this week for my son. ha ha. Like "collect all the best recipes, do the shopping and serve up the most amazing food for the family and all your problems will vanish" ha ha ha. Thanks brain.
So I'm now thinking - just keep the standard usual meals and do a couple of swaps for him. Keep it simple. There's plenty of time to try new things.
It's so interesting as that's such old 'new diet excitement' mentality that I've practiced so often in the past. I haven't had that since my Last Start. It's such a fun feeling but not helpful.
Honestly, when I set an amazing plan and show up to it I can create that feeling for myself so that's what I'm going to do this week.
Plan for today:
3 coffees.
2 teas.
Zucchini and eggs for lunch with 1 slice of fresh sourdough spelt bread (because I want to be realistic).
Sushi for dinner (no rice).
Yoghurt and blueberries + nuts if I want.
So interesting that I rarely think of chocolate these days. SO fascinating because it was as loved by me as my coffee is.
Yoga or Pilates today and a walk.
Cheers to an amazing day Primas and a great week ahead.
Checking in after dinner. I'm absolutely urging for chocolate. Such a strong urge. Really for chocolate, wine, sweets, I actually really just want to feel different to how I feel right now.
I have a bit of anger in me and sadness. My 6yo had a very big melt down this afternoon.
Gosh it's hard. We are consistent with our boundaries and followed through but I feel like I've been on a battle field.
It's great to acknowledge and bring to my attention that I don't actually need any of that food. I don't even need to change this feeling. It's ok for me to feel angry and sad. Totally ok. It's a human emotion. It's like a cocktail of emotions in me right now and I am capable of feeling them.
It's not comfortable, it doesn't feel amazing but it's also no going to hurt me.
I'll go make a cup of tea, sit and breath (after I help the kids get into bed).
Grateful my husband works from home too so we can tag team in these challenging situations.
I will need to do some thought downloads of all the things I make the meltdown mean including "he's going to end up in prison". Gosh, what a dramatic thought.
For now, I will feel angry and sad and sip tea and just be.
Big love and hugs if you're reading this. We're all such amazing humans.
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Day 9 - Tuesday
Checking in, had an emotional 24 hours since yesterday mornings check in.
Acknowledged the feelings and let them be there. I wanted so much to eat all the things but I didn't. I had a cup of tea, sat and breathed. Felt anxious, sad, disappointed, hopeless, angry... a great big cocktail of emotions that didn't kill me. I felt them and followed my plan.
This morning I'm feeling a bit calmer, can hear a lot of thoughts like "the house is a mess, you're not managing anything very well, you could be doing so much better blah blah blah". And to my brain I say "thank you but shush! (is it shush or shoosh?) not helpful brain. I'm here right now, will set a plan of priorities and work through them."
What do I want and can I do for myself today? What would make today a good day even without changing any of my circumstances?
Plan: 3 coffees, 2 teas.
zucchini and eggs.
Broccoli and bolognese for dinner.
Yoghurt and berries and nuts if I want.
That plan feels good. Luxurious and good.
When I set this plan and serve it up to myself I feel cared for and loved. I feel very well supported by myself.
This plan will make today a good day. It will create a future me tomorrow who is proud.
Breath is my medicine today. Big breaths fill me up and nourish me.
I am enough right now as I am. Achieving more and doing more will not make me more lovable and valuable. It will just make me someone who has done more. That's it.
So I am amazing right now in the moment. I am lovable and enough.
I've set myself a luxurious plan and serve it up to myself as my gift to me.
Had a great day. On plan other than a few extra nuts but not many. I'm super proud of myself today.
Feeling good in myself.
I'm not at my goal weight (not that far off) but it actually doesn't matter right now. What matters to me is that I feel such freedom (not all of the time but so much more than I used to and so much more than when I was at Prima goal weight) from food.
I have so much learning and growth still to achieve and I'm excited for it AND I'm so proud and happy with being where I am.
I feel great, I love myself, I have confidence to feel many feelings, I have great awareness AND I'm excited that there's so much more potential for me too.
I know full well this is a mindset. And I'm going to think it as often as I can.
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Day 10 - Wednesday
Wednesday! Hopefully it's not a Wacky Wednesday!
So far so good on the circumstance front. All circumstances have been what I want them to be this morning.
I'm feeling more confident and empowered this morning. A slight buzz in my body of strength.
The work I've been doing on thoughts and feelings lately has helped me grow so much and I look forward to continue it.
I believe there's many other spaces in my brain that I haven't looked at yet. It's scary and exciting to search them out bit by bit and look at them.
Anyway, Plan for today:
Zucchini and eggs for lunch.
BBQ Chicken and salad for dinner.
Yoghurt, berries, nuts and coconut flakes if I want them.
Walk 10k steps.
10 mins yoga or stretching.
Weight down today.
Thoughts that serve me today are:
I take care of me.
I've set myself up.
I accept the great plan I set myself.
Today I continue to practice feeling as many feelings as I can that enter my body.
Evening check in - feeling good.
Great day of ticking things off my do list. Wasn't perfect but got a lot done.
Finished the day with the Prima call, always amazing.
Feeling right on track and in flow, a little bit thirsty so will get in the house and have some water. Might have another cuppa before bed too.
Thoughts that are serving me: I can sit and practice feeling my feelings no matter what comes up.
That's pretty much the only thought I have tonight. I just yawned so I might be a bit tired. Will head inside and wind down before bed.
Have a beautiful day.
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Day 11 - Thursday
Checking in for Thursday.
So many circumstances happening around me and that's ok.
I'm feeling calm and steady in my way of living.
My daily plans really feel like they hold me and support me and my wondering mind.
Plan for today:
3 coffees
2 teas
There's some spelt bread baking right now so I'll have an exception with the end slice with butter if I want to.
Lunch - chicken and salad.
Dinner - gosh, no idea yet. Maybe salmon and salad. Some sort of protein and salad.
If I feel like yoghurt and berries or nuts I'll have some too.
Weight is down, lowest in a year.
I feel great and disconnected from the scales. I don't feel skinny or bloated, just feel well which is a great feeling. No weight on the scales can change that.
Thoughts for today:
Pause breath and feel. Today we continue to practice feeling.
I fill my body with energy every deep breath I take.
I love me so much and I care for me.
I support myself.
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Day 12 - Friday
Checking in for Friday.
I achieved my mini goal today and feel fantastic.
I woke up, lay in bed and soaked up how I was feeling before I got on the scales. I knew I was living life how I want to live it, I feel amazing and proud, super confident in myself as I practice feeling as many feelings as I can. Seriously, I can't imagine anything else building confidence better than practicing feeling feelings.
After weighing myself I felt the same as I did before. I was actively paying attention to check on my emotional connection with the scales.
I noticed a very interesting thought pop into my head as I was making my coffee "if I'm at goal weight then I won't understand the Tribies and I won't be able to support them as well". So interesting because my brain also offers me the thought sometimes "if I'm not at goal weight I should be coaching the Tribies".
Oh what a brain hey. Great to be aware of those thoughts and put them to the side.
I know I'm an amazing coach no matter my weight.
As I sit down to check in I feel a little scattered. Heading to the accountants soon, then have work to do and things to organise for a weekend camping.
Got appointments to book for the kids too.
Got a fair bit on my DO list today.
Right now though, check in, then finish the last couple of things for the accountant then off I go. I know what I'm doing for the next 3 hours and that's enough for now.
Oh, I wanted to quickly capture yesterday too.
I made 2 loaves of bread, 1 loaf of banana bread and some sweet potato fries. I cut myself the end piece of the bread (had put it on my plan) and took a quarter of it to check if I actually liked the taste of it and wanted it. Fresh spelt bread (not sourdough though). I buttered it up and tasted it and it wasn't a 'YUMMO' so I stopped.
Then I cut the banana bread up. Took a slice and cut it in half. Had a taste and that wasn't a YUMMO either so I stopped.
I checked in with myself and I wasn't really hungry at all so I just had some water, sniffed the delicious aroma in the kitchen and that was it.
Oh, I did have about 10 sweet potato fries (baked) and I made that no big deal. Didn't care I hadn't planned for that many.
I had a cuppa and 2 cookies at my in-laws (their cookies are homemade and really aren't that bad. They're more of a biscotti).
By dinner time I didn't feel very hungry which was good to notice. I served up a small piece of baked salmon, some sweet potato fries and some broccoli. I felt satisfied and slightly fuller than a +4. (about +5).
I was reflecting in the evening and my brain was starting to make some noise about all the bread I'd eaten and how much food I'd had yesterday. I wrote it all down for myself and saw that I actually hadn't had everything my brain was telling me I'd had. I think because I was feeling a little bit fuller than usual it was having a little bit of drama. No worries at all, great to know.
Ok, this is a looooong check in today ha ha.
Plan for today:
3 coffees, 2 teas,
Salmon and salad for lunch I think or zucchini and eggs.
Dinner - I don't think we'll make the camp grounds today (it's due to rain so may as well head down tomorrow) so dinner will be salad and something protein.
Yoghurt and berries if I want plus mixed nuts and coconut.
No wine (I did want wine yesterday after a visit to the GP for my son but actively told myself not today).
Water and breathing.
Yoga or pilates (I must admit it's been on my plan all week and I've done NONE! oh well).
Walking or movement of some type.
That's it. Itthink that's everything.
Power thoughts today: Breath and be whatever I am right now.
Oooo, I also wanted to note that I had an urge to tell my husband that I achieved my goal today. I sat and thought about it. What am I expecting 'him knowing' will create for me? It comes back to recognition. Feeling proud. So I've decided not to tell him. Just to be happy and proud and recognise and celebrate myself. He will sense the pride and be happy for me that I'm feeling proud. He doesn't care what weight I am. Just that I love myself and I'm being kind to myself 
.
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Day 13 - Saturday
No check in
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Day 14 - Sunday
No check in
Weight today is up only very slightly. Down compared to Monday last week. I really feel like the 6 steps have created so much freedom for me. Practicing them (when I practice with self love, self awareness and self belief) has me living the life I want to live.
What worked - I feel like it all worked.
I had a slow start to the week but gave myself love and acceptance. I didn't beat myself up. I was kind and just kept going.
By Thursday I was at my lowest weight in over a year and Friday was even lower.
(I've just paused here and gone back up to re-read the whole week above.)
Gosh I am proud of myself.
I feel that despite circumstances last week I showed up as the version of me I wanted to show up as.
What a wonderful week.
What didn't work:
Oh I just remembered I had pizza for dinner Saturday night and leftovers Sunday lunch. I'd change my Sunday lunch. I enjoyed the pizzas but I don't feel great after eating them. They were gluten free, dairy free pizza ha ha. Actually tasty but we had to get them from dominos and something in dominos pizzas makes me a bit meh afterwards.
What would I do differently?
I wonder if I would change the weekend a little bit? Although our plans changed last minute would I have changed anything?
I'd put wine and beer on my plan too.
All up an amazing week. Feeling calm and free.
